OUR STORY

My husband and I are both teachers. We have married for nearly 4 years. In September1999, I found that I was pregnant. We visited the doctor and saw the heartbeat of the fetus through the ultrasound. It was very wonderful !!  Although we were not prepared well, we attached much love and hope to it.

After four weeks, on 4th October, we visited the doctor for the normal check-up of our baby. We could see the body and the head of our baby clearly through the ultrasound. But, we could not see the heartbeat of it! My doctor suggested that we could wait for a couple of days to see whether there would be any miracle. We waited for 3 days and I started bleeding lightly. I knew that it was passing!

The next day I went to see my doctor again. I could not see it clearly from the ultrasound as in the last check-up. I looked at it and prayed God to receive its little soul and take care of it! I had my D&C on the same day.

After 4 months, in February 2000, I found that I was pregnant again. We felt very happy and thought that this time God may give us a healthy baby.
I took rest at home from March and visited my doctor frequently to check the growth of it.

Up to seven weeks of conception, we could only see the sac without any heartbeat ! But my doctor said that the sac was growing normally. After two weeks, I went to the normal check-up again. My doctor said the fetus should be seen this time. But we found nothing in the sac, and the sac did not grow anymore!! "Miscarriage" happened again! We decided to have the D&C immediately that night. I found that there was no more hope for the baby and I could not forget the traumatic experience that I had in the last miscarriage during the time I was waiting!   I have written out my thoughts during this very difficult time. If you would like to read them, please visit my Journal of Thoughts ( in Chinese).
 

Nothing could be done but tons of tears cannot be stopped. Our hearts broke and left two wounds that cannot be healed. We know we will never get over the loss of our little angels.  We love our babies so much and will never forget them.I know that we will be together some day.

We named our little angels as Cherry and Angie. Cherry means "beloved" and Angie means "heavenly messenger".They are our "beloved" babies and we trust that they have sent some heavenly messenges to us although we have not understood it  yet.
 

We have to say thanks to all the friends who give their love, concern and support to us. We have also found much support and comfort through the support group online. We believe that all of you are the angels who are sent by God to comfort us. We hope to be able to offer  support to someone else. If I can be of help to anyone, please email us.